Farewell Madah and Kgosi

Featured from left to Right Madadh and Kgosi in their summer coats howling.


It's been a long time since I wrote my thoughts down on my blog. My life got so busy and writing is most of what I do so on my free time I try to do anything else. In case you are wondering grad school is going great but I will touch on that another day.

I found out the other day that Madadh passed away. If you haven't been following my past adventures, Madadh was a socialized wolf raised by Tony at Wolf Watch UK. Her and her brother Kgosi were the first wolves I got to see up close, observe and even touch. Kgosi passed away a few months ago and Madadh followed suit last week. They were both approaching nineteen years old which is  a great age to live as a captive wolf, a testament to the care and love they received from Wolf Watch UK.

I decided to write up a bit about my favorite memories with these guys as closure but also to give you a taste of what it's like to have been this close to a wolf.

The first greeting.

I still remember this like it was yesterday. I had taken an eight hour train ride, a taxi and accepted a lift from a stranger all the way to get to the tiny town where the sanctuary was close to. I was particularly nervous. This was the first time someone had actually decided to give me a volunteering opportunity close to wolves and I would be damned if an expensive long ticket would stop me(side note: Thanks dad for funding all of these expeditions. This wouldn't be possible without you).

Tony drove in and picked me up. I  introduced myself and we talked a little bit about the sanctuary. As we drove to around the typical English country side roads, a huge plot of land filled with pines arose of out nowhere. As if on cue the wolves began howling. Tony smiled and said they always howl when his jeep pulls in. I was excited.

After some brief introductions to the dogs and people present, Tony decided to show me around. First I saw Callow and Pepe. I caught a glimpse of Poppy. Then it was time for Madadh and Kgosi. These two black/gray wolves approached the fence, really happy to see Tony. He let Madadh into the large enclosure. " Kgosi is a bit grumpy around men." I didn't care. There was a wolf in the same space I was.  Madadh came up, sniffed me, jumped on and nipped my lip gently. She then started wandering the large enclosure. We walked behind her as Tony told me all about himself, the wolves and Wolf Watch UK. I was transfixed. Madadh graced me with her attention a few more time and when I finally got my hand and caressed her fur I realized how lucky I was. The fur, coarse and wolly was a great indicator that this wasn't some sort of dog. This was the real deal.  My day was made.

Even in the train ride home, riding with a muddy pair of jeans(I made a fool of myself diving in a small pond that I thought was shallower than it was. I even thought I could jump over it) and smelling of all sort of smells, all I could think of was Madadh, her eyes and how lucky I was.

Kgosi and the first hello

I was at Wolf Watch again. This time I was there for the summer. I helped around by helping with tours, feeding the wolves and all that good stuff. At night I spend time reading on wolves. I would be lying if I said I didn't get the majority of my knowledge from those nights. It's a miracle what no internet or phone signal can do.  It was another day when Tony suggested we let Madadh into the large enclosure for some enrichment. I still don't know if he did it on purpose but he also let Kgosi out with her. At that point, Kgosi has been getting food from me for about a month but we didn't interact much apart from distracting him when Madadh came out for meet and greets. Like a bullet, Kgosi came for me, sniffed me a little bit and move out. Madadh stuck around for some long deserved ear scruffs. It was until later on when me and Tony sat watching the wolves, that Kgosi decided to come and investigate.

At that point, Madadh had laid the boundaries of our relationships. Foolishly I assumed the same applied for Kgosi. I moved to pet him, my hand always visible to him. He gave me the "don't " look. The think you need to understand is that wolves aren't inherently aggressive when it comes to social interactions. Kgosi's "don't" look wasn't one that implied an attack. I wasn't in any danger.  It was simply him saying don't. Tony drew his attention and I gave him plenty of space until eventually I petted him.  It was like petting a King.

It was a different feeling between the two. Madadh was more aloof while Kgosi was more serious. None the less I grew to love them both.

Our howls

I was up in the observation post, sitting outside watching Madadh and Kgosi from afar. I've seen Tony howl to the wolves before but I never dared tried. I felt that I would look silly if it didn't work.  I was reading a book on wolf survey methods when they mentioned wolf howling surveys. It's when you hike around wolf country, howl and see what responds and where. I decided to give it a go. No one was around at the time so it would look less silly if I failed. I did my best Tony imitation and howled. No response.  I couldn't be any more embarrassed at myself. "Look at you thinking you are the wolf whisperer all of a sudden" I said as I sat back down. Then a howl. Another one. A third. A fourth. Finally a fifth. Everyone joined in. Tears rolled at the back of my eye as these wolves howled back at me. As they stopped I started again. It went back and forth for about half an hour or so.

When Tony returned I told him the news. He smiled and said that they love their back and forth howling.

Not a day went by after that when I didn't howl at the wolves.

The pond

It was a day after we did some shooting at Wolf Watch. If memory serves correctly it was Merlin but it may have been another BBC production. Tony had let Madadh out the large enclosure to roam around. We sat by the pond discussing this and that, watching Madadh play with the water. She came to us and non nonchalantly rested her head on my shoulder for a few seconds before going to Tony. That display of affection still makes me smile to this day.


The last howls

This is perhaps my most recent but most earnest memory. I hadn't visited  Wolf Watch for more than a year and a half. A lot changed in my life. I had worked at different wolf centers, I graduated(or was going to in a week) and was on my way out of the U.K, heading to Cyprus and then eventually California. I knew that after that it would be hard to ever return to Wolf Watch UK. I knew deep down that this would be my last visit for a long time.

Tony picked me up at the train station and we chatted as usual about what's going on at the center(they had a new wolf Anja) and he had met some people at Wildlife Paradise Park. It was exciting times for Wolf Watch and exciting times for me.

After the hellos to Eva and the assorted canines, Tony looked at me and said  "Well do you want to go say hello?"  I hadn't seen the wolves in a long time and although Tony and myself emailed back and forth, it's obviously a different thing. We entered the enclosure, when the now obviously senior wolves perked up. Madadh came up and said hi but Kgosi remained where he was. He eventually got up and said hello as well.  We sat down and let them come and sniff and say hello. Madah sat down and started howling. The softest howl came out. Apparently she had lost her voice and didn't try to howl as often anymore.  It was at that moment I realized that this may be the last time I ever get to see Madadh and Kgosi. I was right

Remarks

You have to understand that as remarkable that this relationship seems to you(it's my understanding that a lot people think so and for all I know I am glorifying something that wasn't as special as I make it out to be),it holds no candle to the relationship these wolves had with the man who raised them. Madadh and Kgosi loved Tony in a way that was obvious to even the most oblivious of people. Tony's love for them was the same. This is a man who decided to dedicate a large chunk of his life to helping wolves by rehoming them, raising them and making sure they aren't put down.

Madadh and Kgosi didn't just offer love, nips and fun times. They seared and sealed my passion to study and help wolves in the wild and in captivity. They offered me a first hand experience in what wolves have to offer and what wolves are about. They offered me a unique perspective in wolf life one that very few people get.

It all wouldn't be possible without Tony of course, who decided to share crumbs from his amazing relationship with these animals and gave me time and opportunities to interact with these animals but also encouraged me to pursue this. It's him I think about when it comes to loss. Thank you Tony for doing everything you did for me and letting me come close to these amazing animals. You are in my thoughts in these trying times.

Thank you Kgosi. Thank you Madadh. I will always remember the howls, the bites, the snuggles and the petting.  I will always remember the feeling of your fur. May you rest in peace wherever you may be.



No loss is too small when the bond forged was strong.





If any of you want to support Wolf Watch UK and their amazing work check out their website.

Who are you rooting for?

It's been a long time since I wrote on the blog. I got carried away with life and my masters thesis so I haven't had a chance to put my thoughts down in a blog post. Never the less, here I am and I have a few things in my mind.

The first thing(and what I will talk about today) is predators. I was thinking about this while watching  the BBC series "The Hunt". I love predators and I am sure anyone reading the blog knows that. I just think that the way these animals live and hunt is extraordinary. They have to rely on themselves to survive and while the same goes for herbivores(since they have to rely on themselves to not get eaten), it feels different with predators.

During a very vivid scene of orcas hunting a baby humpback whale, I found myself rooting for the orcas and hoping they make the kill. It occur to me however that someone else might be rooting for the baby humpback to escape and survive. I pondered on that thought a little and thought that in the end of the day it may have something to do with human psyche and what is your outlook on life. I don't mean it in a " strong people root for predators, weak people root for herbivores" situation. A lot of herbivores are pretty badass.

What I mean exactly is the outlook on life and how you perceive it. Speaking from personal experience, people rooting for the prey tend to be more empathetic towards everyone and tend to have a larger picture view of life. They plan their life and set goals they want to achieve later in their life. People rooting for predators tend to trust only "their own" people and tend to prefer living in the moment with their plans not ranging that far into the future. They have a general idea of what they want to do later on but the  words "we will see" tend to come in mind.

This is of course a very gross generalization of humanity, one of the most complex species on the planet.  Of course there will be people who won't match these boxes and of course there will be people who will disagree with what I say.

But that's not really what I want to get through today. Whether you agree with what I say or not, I believe in what I am saying. So what that says about me as a human? I think that we have this tendency to take certain things from nature and project them into how we believe the world works. It's impossible to prevent ourselves from doing that. Ultimately the question isn't should we do that, but rather what is it that we do? What elements of our world perception come from our observations in nature and what is instilled by society. Can we overcome certain beliefs through our experience with nature?

When I first started being interested in nature, I found myself believing that predators were the best. They are highly adaptable killing machines. "Why would anyone root for anything else? Deer are stupid grass eating things and humpbacks just swim around. " It's only by learning more and observing more that I learned that prey species aren't all that stupid after all. Humpbacks will defend gray whales and their calves with possibly no other motive but altruism. Deer will move in herds to prevent themselves from being attacked. Other species have learned to look at patterns to prevent predation.

So much like nature, our perception of the world is ever evolving and what we take from nature constantly changes the more we observe and live in it.

Troubling times

I was going to try my best to fill this blog with optimistic news. I was going to mention how excited I was with my new project and the fact that I am closer to finishing my masters but today I learned about the EPA being frozen. People say it's not really a big deal but I am here to tell you why it is.

Unfortunately a large amount of grant money that funds environmental research comes from the EPA and other federal foundations. The lack of funding means that a lot of research has been halted and alternative funding sources are going to get a lot more competitive in the future. This means that research that was vital may be sidetracked for something deemed to be more important by the funding agencies that still work. All of us in the research departments already know how competitive grants are and with a freeze this big it means a lot less research is going to be carried out.

The hiring freeze will also have a lasting impact. The  sector is highly competitive when it comes to jobs and this freezing means that people trying to work for the environment will have to take any job they get which means that less and less people will be hired and therefore will be proved to go into the private sector. While that's not necessarily bad, a lot of people that hoped to work in Government agencies(myself included) will have to compete twice as much.

It's hard to say exactly what's going to happen. However the record shows that the current administration will probably work more for money rather than the protection of the environment.  This isn't particularly encouraging when you consider that some of the chair positions don't believe in climate change which is deemed to be the most worrying subject in the research community. It isn't always gloom but these are the times we live in.  All we can really hope for is to fight for the environment and what it stands for.